The strangest-looking fish you will ever eat. It is flat as a pancake and almost perfectly oval. A massive extendable mouth opens like a vacuum hose. The body is murky olive-green. A distinctive dark spot sits on each side, located halfway down the body. This is a false eye. It confuses predators and prey alike. They think the fish is watching them when it is actually looking the other way. Lazy hunters with a genius trick. John Dory swim slowly. They almost drift. They tilt their flat body to face their target. Then, without warning, they shoot their mouth forward like a spring-loaded trap. This creates a suction that pulls the prey straight into the throat. They can swallow fish nearly half their own length. The preferred meal is small baitfish. Especially pilchards and anchovies. These are stalked with the patience of a cat at a mouse hole. It has a reputation among chefs. The fillets are ghost-white. They are firm and almost completely boneless. They produce some of the cleanest, sweetest fish flesh in the ocean. The downside is the head. It is enormous. It is bony and covered in sharp spikes. It makes up nearly half the fish's weight. You pay for a whole fish and throw half of it away. To eat John Dory is to eat the fancy fish. It is the one you order at a restaurant when someone else is paying. The fish separates the casual cook from the serious one. It makes you look like you know what you are doing. Even if you just put it in a hot pan with butter. In Māori tradition, the John Dory does not have a distinct name. This is likely because it was uncommon in shallow waters. Most traditional fishing happened there. European fishermen named it after a French privateer, Jean Dore. No one is quite sure why. Today it remains the fish that separates the casual cook from the serious one. It is the one that makes you look like you know what you are doing. Even if you just put it in a hot pan with butter.